The Ridiculous 6 – Bear Film Review

Okay, I’m about to review an Adam Sandler movie. Don’t worry, I’m not one of those elitist movie snobs who says stuff like “Punch Drunk Love was the only decent movie Sandler made,” or “Jack and Jill can suck ma ballz,” because I haven’t seen it, the latter is just creepy and wrong, and because that ain’t true in my book.

The good thing when it comes to Adam Sandler movies is that you know what you’re going to get.

The bad thing when it comes to Adam Sandler movies is… that you know what you’re going to get.

If you’re interested, these are the films I’ve seen of his, and I’ve put them into three groups: the good, the bad, and the ugly (see what I done there? Nope? You will in a minute).

So off the top of my head, we have:

The Good

  1. Mr Deeds
  2. The Waterboy
  3. Punch Drunk Love
  4. Little Nicky
  5. Happy Gilmore
  6. 50 First Dates

The Bad

  1. Grown Ups
  2. Don’t Mess With The Zohan
  3. Mall Cop
  4. Click

The Ugly

  1. Bucky Larson – Born To Be A Star

Before you ask, I watched the majority of these when I was around 14. If I watched them now I might have a different opinion.

Back to Reviewing THIS Film…

So what is this film even about? Well at first, I thought it was going to be a parody of Quentin Tarantino’s H8ful Eight movie – a parody of a film which hasn’t even been released yet – but then I heard this was meant as a parody of the Magnificent Seven, so I guess I was wrong there. Either way, it’s about a group of western folk who come together in search of their long lost daddy. Long lost not because of circumstance, but because it suited the womanising outlaw lifestyle he had grown accustom to.

The story follows Adam Sandler who has grown up in an Indian Tribe. His name in the film is Tommy Stockburn, but he also goes by the name White Knife due to his skills and tendencies using  knifes. In the film he is dressed to look like a Native Indian and has a wife called Smoking Fox. His dad is called Screaming Hawk (or something like that. I forget now). Yes, these are cliches.

After finding his long lost dad by chance, he is told by him that he is dying and that he came to find him so that he can be shown where the hidden money is buried. At this point, a group of men on horses take him away from Tommy so that the dad can show him where the hidden money is buried. Bummer.

Tommy goes into a town with the intention to rob a bank. His plan once he has $50,000 is to give the kidnappers of his daddy the money they crave so that they can be reunited. Along the way his discovers by chance 5 other men, all of whom come from different mothers but all have the same father. His Father!!!!!!

Brothers from another mothers

The biggest problem this movie has is that it meanders in places and feels too drawn out for its type of comedy. The movie DID have a handful of belly laughs in it such as Steve Bucusmi as a Bartender/Dentist, the beginning fight scene where Adam’s character bamboozles a small gang, and some ass jokes from… a literal ass, and if it were to have 30 minutes cut from the movie, I’m sure I would have enjoyed the whole experience a lot more. This could have been a great movie for what it is (obviously it wasn’t made with the aim of nabbing an Oscar from Tom Hanks this year) but unfortunately in certain places, it falls as flat as the desert terrains they journey throughout this movie.

I’ll add here that if you liked early Sandler stuff ala Happy Gilmore, then you may like this film more than a lot of his recent output. You’ve got the lightning-visual gags thrown in sparingly with the quirky crowd people you tend to see in his early films, the romance element his character usually has, and the usual slapstick which makes his movies his own.

Overall, it’s not a great movie, but I think that’s always been the point of his movies – it’s not about greatness, it’s about just having a good time watching it. I’d say it’s worth a watch, but that’s just me. And as for the whole ‘racist’ thing the press was generating about this film – don’t take such a dumb ass film so seriously! There is so many more shocking films out there to huff about. Heck, look at the world right now. Look at the recent events of Paris. Look at Syria! Don’t get distracted in such PR nonsense regarding this film – watch it/don’t watch it, but don’t start political BS over a goofy comedy (but comments are welcome :)).

There isn’t really much else to say about this movie. I won’t spoil it anymore for you if you’re planning on watching it on Netflix anytime soon. I hear he has a contract deal with Netflix, meaning he has agreed to make another 3 more films exclusive to them, so who knows – in about a years time I might be reviewing another film of his.

But until then – take care. X

This would make a lovely postcard, don’t you think?

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Death Proof – Film Review

In this film review I will be tackling Death Proof – a film that had some wonderful, comedic moments, but was also tainted by overindulgent dialogue that seemed to go on… and on… and on…

And on…

I know it’s a Quentin Tarantino movie, and that’s one of the elements you’d to expect when watching one, but this film’s dialogue wasn’t that interesting if I’m being honest. Yes, it’s great listening to a group of girls talk about sex and shit (I use that word loosely – they didn’t once bring up scatology), but after a while it becomes an impotent affair.

The film is split into two acts. The first act follows a group of girls to a bar, who are soon to get killed by some weird stalker guy with a stunt car that he’s dubbed ‘death proof’. His name is Stuntman Mike (played by Kirk Russell). I wished his character was developed more: it was a bit too one-dimensional for my liking. We don’t even know why he’s stalking these girls and killing them! Sure, it hints at how he possibly gets a sexual kick out of it, but to me, the viewer, it just comes a cross as cowardly to the highest degree. I would have liked the film to have explored this avenue more, giving Stuntman Mike more depth to why he’s hell bent on killing people, using his car.

Don’t get me wrong – I did enjoy parts of this film, such as when one of the girls gave Stuntman Mike a lap dance in the bar. I liked the fact she was wearing flip flops whilst she was doing it (the director apparently has a foot fetish). Come to think of it, there is a lot of exposed feet in this flick, which tells me that this Quentin isn’t afraid to indulge in his desires, which is fine – just don’t bore me (like you did with the dialogue). It’s a shame the film didn’t keep to the tone of the latter half of the movie, because if he’d kept the tone a 100% goofy violent comedy, then this could have been [possibly] my favourite movie by him, but instead it falls short of that mark by a long way. I don’t know a lot about the back story of this, but it comes off as a rushed project, or a project with no real focused identity or vision, which is strange considering what he’s done previously and after this film.

Another scene I enjoyed in this movie what when Mike gives a blonde girl a lift home, but then tells her directly that he has no intention of doing so. That bit of dialogue there was actually very good, very Tarantinoesque (i.e. he gets the character to explain to another character that they have no option but to do as they say). I was a bit shocked by the way the girl died inside the stunt car, but I should have seen it coming really – the fact that she didn’t have a proper seat, and that there was a divider between them in the car was a bad omen (plus the fact she got in the car with a guy who had photos of the girls pinned to his pull down mirror. Creep much?

And then he does a head-on collision with the group of girls, killing them but surviving because of his ‘death proof’ car. And 14 months later, he’s at it again, stalking another group of girls. And I’m thinking, doesn’t this guy have any healthy hobbies he could pursue instead of his insatiable lust of killing groups of women? Like scrabble, for instance?

But the bully gets his comeuppance this time around, as the second group of girls manage to flip his car, and pull him out of it. They form a circle and take turns plummeting punches into his pitiful face, until one of them roundhouse kicks him to the ground. ‘The end,’ it says on the screen abruptly. I thought this was a satisfying ending as that worm of a man, Stuntman Mike, didn’t deserve to be on this earth with that sick perverted attitude of his. He was scum in a scum bucket, and thankfully the girls prevailed in the end – hurrah!

In this car chase that came before his capturing, there was some epic stunts done by the character played by Zoe Bell, in which she climbs onto the bonnet of the Dodge Challenger, using two belts that have been pinched in the car doors for balance.

Just because this film has many flaws and bores packed in it, it did still have it’s moments, and when those came up on the screen, the viewing experience was a pleasurable one. But because this is a film that couldn’t make up what kind of film it wanted to be, and could have done with about 30 minutes less of dialogue taken out, I have to award this motion piccy a fairly low score of:

6/10

Inglourious Basterds – Film Review (By BEAR)

Today I will be reviewing Inglourious Basterds, conceived by hollywood’s darling of violence, Quentin Tarantino. You’ve heard of him right? Well, if not where you been at? I forgive you. Now let’s move forward…

This movie, like many of Quentin’s films, isn’t structured in the typical Act 1, 2, 3 you find most movies out there are, but in 5 chapters. Kinda like a movie novel. Here is a breakdown of each chapter:

Chapter One: Once Upon a Time….. in Nazi-Occupied France

This is all one long scene, lasting just under half an hour, and takes place in the countryside somewhere in France. The whole film takes place in France, but more specifically, it takes place in a time where Hitler is in power as World War 2 is happening.

It’s an idyllic surrounding, soft meadow fields everywhere you look; quite beautiful really – it brought a tear to BEAR’s eye, let’s just put it that way. Perrier LaPadite is a farmer there, and a loving father with three daughters. It all looks like what you’d expect to find at a countryside, but then he spots in the distance men on horseback, travelling up the dirt track leading to their farmhouse. Perrier warns his daughters and they tend to something important inside the house (we don’t see what, but find out by the end of this chapter). Meanwhile, as the gunmen of horseback get terribly close to the proximity of their house, the man splashes water from a basin over his front, giving them the impression he’s been working his ass off.

The men on horseback have arrived – they’re Nazis, to be more specific. The main guy is the charismatic Colonel, Hans Landa, and no: just ’cause he’s charismatic doesn’t make him any less of an Nazi. He’s also very cock sure about how he interacts with the farmer, but gets away with this due to the dominance of his position. There is a reason for this cockiness – he is there for only one thing: to sniff out Jews that are in hiding and kill him. He’s even been given the nickname ‘The Jew Hunter’, which he boasts about to Perrier, as he squirms subtly behind his pipe. As Hans talks to the man of the farmhouse around a wooden table, and after the women leave the building to let them begin their conversation (leaving the Nazi a glass of milk), they suddenly switch to English. Again, it’s not apparent why Hans requests this change from French to English, but BEAR was thinking there must be a reason for this, other than the Nazi saying he’s ‘exhausted his French vocabulary’. That’s just doesn’t add up after he spoke so eloquently for many minutes on the screen. Hmm… BEAR doesn’t buy it – he smelled a rat instantly.

(You call that a pipe? This is a pipe!)

Speaking of rats, the colonel begins using a rat analogy to the French man, relating it to his job as a guy who has to exterminate Jews and the propaganda used by Joseph Goebbels in Nazi Germany. He eventually tells Perrier that he has only two options: you either tell me that there are Jewish people hidden under the floorboards, or you get killed and we look there for them anyway. The man concedes, telling the man in english where they are hidden by pointing to the floor where they are located. As Hans gets up to leave, he switches back to French, pretending that he is talking to the French daughters entering the house, but in fact it’s the Nazi solders entering. Then it inevitable happens and the children under the floorboards are exterminated with the relentless shootings they’d been ordered to take out.

…Except one! The eldest of the children hiding under the floorboards manages to escape through a small window and runs (literally) for her life. Colonel Hans Landa trains his gun on her as she runs through the fields towards the horizontal, but eventually decides not to shoot her. BEAR thinks this is because it would have too a helluva shot to shoot the girl from that far away, not because he just whimsically felt like not doing so.

This now completes chapter one. Intense wasn’t it? But it wasn’t just the typical intensity you find with most Tarantino films – this had……………………SUSPENSE! Who woulda funk it? But even though it is a rariety to see in a filmmaker who’s well known for A.D.D violence, you gotta hand it to him – this was a masterclass in suspense. Hitchcock might of wanted a cameo in this ’cause it was that intense (maybe he was in it – you just didn’t see them). Anyways, you’re probably wondering where does this girl who has survived should a traumatic event go? No? Well you are now. So read on and you might just find out where she ends up, and what she does (within the context of this 152 minute length film).


(The lucky one)

Chapter Two: Inglourious Basterds

We are introduced to the “Inglourious Basterds” at this point. This is a American-Jewish posse of commandos ready to kill every F’ing Nazi they come into contact with. And on top of that, their leader redneck guy (Lt. Aldo Raine) is demanding that each of his men make sure they scalp 100 of these Nazis for him. Scalping is where you take a knife and peel – like you would a potato – the top of the head off of someone. Kinda like an alive wig for the redneck – a badge of honor for the Basterds. So if you’re a Nazi and you cross paths with this motley crue, it’s turf luck!

And also in this chapter, we see Hitler, having a right rollicking at two of his insubordinates. He’s crying like an angry baby at them because he can’t understand why no-one has caught the Inglourious Basterds, as they are messing things up for him. And it doesn’t help that one of these guys were sent back by the Basterds to send Hitler a chilling message. The swastika carved into his head also sends a permanent advertisement to all those who see this guy – so even if he takes off this uniform, he cannot hide what he is.

Wait! I should back up here. Who else was at this place where this swastika headed man came from? Well, the Basterds brutally killed a small group of nazi as none of them would point onto a map where Hitler was hiding. BEAR liked the bit where the BEAR-jew came into it and baseball batted those loyal biatches to a pulp. One thing I’ll said – I wish there was more of the BEAR-jew in this film; not ’cause I share a namesake with him, but because his character deserved more scenes. Perhaps a film where we just follow the BEAR-jew around, beating up nazis would be a good idea. But I digress.

There was one nazi who would cave-in though: Private Butz. He’s such a spineless swerp that he doesn’t hesitate to tell them. I don’t blame him, after seeing what the BEAR-jew did to the guy before him.


(Bat-a bat-a bat-a swwwing!!)

Chapter Three: German Night in Paris

The girl who escaped the farmhouse in chapter one, goes by the name Emmanuelle Mimieux these days. She also owns a cinema. BEAR’s not sure how this happened as it was not shown, but BEAR’s not too bothered and understands the issues of continuity in films. Whilst standing on a ladder and taking down large lettering from the front of her cinema, a guy named Fredrick Zoller tries to woe her. This just comes off as annoying to Emmanuelle, and some enough the guy leaves. But the next day, whilst she is in a cafe, Fredrick finds her again. This pees her off somewhat – she has no interest in him and has made it clear numeros times that she just wants to be left alone. Yet as he is about to leave, people in the cafe come up to him and treat him like a celebrity of sorts. This bit also has no subtitles as they converse in the german language, and it’s not needed as the ways these people enthuse over Fredrick speaks loud enough for BEAR to understand. The girl finds out that he killed a load of people as a sniper, and now Goebbels has made a film of this – with him playing himself in the film! Goebbels regards it as his finest work to date, and wants his film to be put on there.

She says no, no, no, until she comes face to face with the nazi who got her siblings killed back at the farmhouse. BEAR finds it funny how his guy – who says he can find a jew anywhere – can’t recognise this girl is jewish, or that she was the escapee from that farm. It goes to show how ridiculous the whole racism thing is – how of us are really that different from each other. What separates a racist from a non-racist is their mentality, not the way they look. Ignorance, perhaps? Or stupidity into believing such idiotic beliefs. Why can’t the whole of humanity just stop warring with each other for whatever greedy reasons they may have as a motive, and just get the F along. BEAR means it! Sorry, this really touched a nerve with me. I’ll get back to the plot… So Emmanuelle agrees to the premiere of the film being held at her cinema. Why? Well we discover this when she meets her projectionist, Marcel, at the cinema. She tells Marcel that, firstly, they don’t want him to be the projectionist at the premiere (because he’s black), and that she agreed to it because she has a plan: to blow up the cinema with all the most powerful of nazis trapped within it. All they have to do it prepare for this plan so that it can be pulled off. The idea is that, with all the 300+ of film reels in the back room, they are going to light that up behind the cinema screen. This stuff is so flammable that, at the time, it wasn’t even allow on public transport. They also film a message Emmanuelle addresses directly to the nazis, which gets spiced onto the film’s reel, so that when the film reaches that part, it transitions into her recording.

Chapter Four: Operation Kino

A British soldier and two Basterds enter a joyous pub with german actress, Bridget Von Hammersmark. A group of people are playing a game where they stick a playing card to their head with a famous name on it, and they have to get the name by asking a series of questions, relying on the ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answers given to them. A guy named Wilhelm is celebrating the birth of his son there at the time as well.

A guy around the corner, reading a book, over hears the non-german bunch, who are trying to blend in, and comes over to sit with them. He questions the english guy’s accent, thinking it is highly peculiar, and this is because though the solider is speaking fluent german, you can still hear his english accent. It. Just. Sounds. Off. They copy what the table next to them are doing and play they same game they are (the ‘King Kong’ questions accumulate in what BEAR interprets as another stab are the stupidity of racism, specifically in how it wasn’t just the german’s fueling racist propaganda, but also america as well). And then the german asks the barkeeper for five drinks. One of the good guys asks for three drink, and holds up three fingers. This gives the game away – the german now knows that they are imposters because of the way he held up his fingers. German people hold up three fingers in a different way to english people, and Sherlock here, like a hawk, was perceptive enough to spot this.

Guns are thrusted at each other threateningly underneath the table, with one placed snuggly on the german’s ballbag area. And in what seems like a flash in the pan, the whole room explodes in a flurry of bullets, killing everyone except Wilhelm, who is behind the bar. The Basterd’s leader calls down from the floor above to ask if they can take Bridget Von Hammersmark with them (she’s wounded, but also still alive), and he finally agrees, once he realises he has no choice. But it didn’t matter what he said anyway because Bridget Von Hammersmark takes it upon herself to shot the newly father anyways.

Chapter Five: Revenge of the Giant Face

The final part is want all the previous chapters were building up towards (obviously). It’s the film premiere of Goebal’s film, at Emmanuelle’s cinema. Even Hitler’s gonna be there, so you know they pulled out all the stops for this event, and then some.

Emmanuelle’s plan is all set by now. Marcel, the projectionist, is behind the screen, waiting for the signal to throw his cigarette into the as yet unlit pile of unravelled film reels, whilst Emmanuelle is upstairs in the projection room.

Meanwhile, in the lobby area, the redneck leader and two other members of th Basterds accompany Bridget Von Hammersmark to the premiere. They bump into the Nazi guy, whom already knows Bridget Von Hammersmark was at the pub massacre as she had left her bloody shoes behind. She also adorns a foot cast shaped like a stiletto, which the nazi quickly brings up into the conversation with her. She says she fell in a rock climbing accident yesterday morning. He laughs manically, knowing that she is lying. He leads her into a room for a private talk (without the Basterds), and the nazi gets Bridget Von Hammersmark to take out something from his coat pocket. It’s her old shoe! He puts it on her unwounded foot to make sure it fits (it does). And taking his opportunity, he pounces on her, making her fly backwards, and he kills her by asphyxiation.

The leader redneck and one of the other Basterds get taken away from the cinema by the Nazi, as he realises that they are not really italian filmmakers (if Brad Pitt’s hilarious accent didn’t give it away). They make a deal with the Nazi that it’ll be okay to kill everyone at the cinema, with the condition that he is given his own island and is treated like a hero by the Americans. But it’s not the Basterds would blow up the set…

The guy who’s keen on Emmanuelle gets shoot by her, and then he shoots him. Their deaths are negligible though because after Marcel throws his cigarette onto the film pile, the whole place is about to go KA-BOOM! I liked this scene, not only because of its cinematic value, but because there it is like the ultimate revenge towards the Nazis if you were to perceive the fact they were locked in a burning room as a concentration camp, giving them a taste of the insurmountable pain and suffering of what they did to millions of their fellow human beings. Not bad for a movie, eh?

I was willing to surrender into this movie, was I realised it wasn’t meant to be intended as a serious historical reenactment (BEAR hates that stuff anyways), because the payoff was so good – that Hitler and all the evil Nazis got killed and the war would therefore be over. The fact that it is not historically accurate was reflected in the mispelling of the title. Yes, Quentin maybe dyslexic, but I’m sure he knows how to use a dictionary.

The final scene is where the redneck leader of the Inglourious Basterds carves a swastika into the Nazi’s head. And though the last line – “I think this just might be my masterpiece” – was like Tarantino gloating, I would still have to say that Pulp Fiction is his masterpiece. This film was superb though, and was more managed with its killings – more time was devoted to build up and tension within scenes. This is specially so in the first chapter and the pub scene. I thought it was wonderfully done, personally speaking.

Overall, I am going to award Inglourious Basterds 9/10



Say auf wiedersehen to your nazi balls

BEAR Reviews… Scream

Welcome human people! I am BEAR, and my week was fine thank you. Every film review will have spoilers, so SPOILER ALERT: THERE WILL ALWAYS BE SPOILERS IN THIS BLOG. PERIOD. BEAR can’t tell you what to do – you are your own human person, and I am my own BEAR, with my BEARclaws and my BEARnessnessnesses. This has been an automated BEARmessage.


“Everybody dies but us. We get to carry on and plan the sequel, ’cause Let’s face it baby, these days, you gotta have a sequel.” ~Stu (a character in the film)

“I disagree.” ~BEAR (The writer of this film review blog)

A question for you:

What do you get when you mix a multitude of horror movie clichés with an abundance of name-drops to previous horror classics? You get Scream, of course. My second question is: did you not read the title to this entry? No? – Shame on you, but you are forgiven. Yes? – Oh well, please forgive BEAR. You do? Great. We continue…

The first thirteen minutes of the film are, in my BEAR opinion, the best part of this film. That’s not to say the film as a whole is rubbish (because it’s not – I, a BEAR, was quite fond of this cheesy little number) it’s just that BEAR believes it is… neat! It begins with a girl, home alone (I don’t know her name – BEAR doesn’t give a BEAR-care about names, just the story and how BEAR feels when watching the story… plus… she dies in this scene, so what’s the point? What BEAR does remember is that she is played by Drew Barrymore, so BEAR was expecting her to be the protagonist, the main star of this film; but alas, BEAR was wrong. I liked how it messed with my expectations, so kudos). This girl picks up her house phone to engage in a call with a mysterious guy caller. She ends the call abruptly several times – this first starts off as a flirtatious interchange between them, until the mystery caller lets slip that he is watching her. The mood then switches to trepidation, and the girl locks the french doors. BEAR did find it amusing that there were no curtains to conceal any windows, and that the girl didn’t JUST HANG UP TO RING THE POLICE!!!!! But BEAR also understood quickly (I am smarter than that Yogi Bear) that this film was bound to be cheesy, as the movie quickly established that fact. I also was amazed she never took the pan of popcorn off the burner when she had the chance. Her parents would have been thankful to her, even though, inevitably, she would have died by then.

After doing an eight-second news research on Scream, BEAR found out that Scream is being turned into a new Scream TV show… and they’re going to re-enact my favourite part of it! BEAR can’t help suggest they use Drew Barrymore again to play that part as she nailed that whole scene the first time around. Note: BEAR sometimes likes to say silly billy things. And this is a nice segue to…

BILLY!

Yes, after Drew Barrymore’s boyfriend gets disembowelled in a chair, in the garden, and her character is hanging [tough until the director said ‘CUT!’], we move to a scene where Billy scares the B-Jesus out of the real protagonist:

SIDNEY!

They are boyfriend and girlfriend, in this film. And throughout the movie, Sidney doesn’t trust him on so many levels (BEAR update: it’s two levels, in fact).

And as that meme above clearly shows – the killer in the film is not one, but two human people!!! The guy holding Sidney is obviously Billy (see previous meme before the one above), but who is the guy with the gun? Why, it’s none other than Sidney’s-best-friend’s-boyfriend, Stu. BEAR can see that he hasn’t talked much about Stu, and his girlfriend Tatum, and has no intention to do so. I am a living, breathing BEAR, and like you I can’t just stay on the internets 24/7… I will however say that Stu is like a timid cat compared to Billy, who is the dominant cat who gets the (s)cream. Yes, I’m punny! I also want to mention the hilarious scene where Tatum goes to get alcohol from the garage, and then finds herself trapped in the cat-flap, only to be crushed by it as the masked murderer opens the garage door. (The cat-flap was part of it. I… you’ve seen this film haven’t you?) One more shout out: The Fonz was in this! He helped move the film along by being killed by the Ghostfaced Killer (also a good rapper), and getting the majority of the kids to leave the party to help move the movie along swiftly to the finale. Happy days…

All the way through the film, I (with my BEAR logic) thought it was Sidney’s dad who was the killer. He’d left Sidney, his daughter, all on her own as he went to a hotel airport to tend to some “work business” stuff. This confused me, an actual BEAR, because if it was a year-to-almost-this-day that your wife had been brutally killed, you wouldn’t leave your beloved daughter home alone, would you? I mean c’mon – I’m a BEAR, and even I know that. It’s just not on! But then I remembered this is a film, and I must apologise to you bloggers and blog readers: sometimes this BEAR gets emotionally sucked into this make-believe world a tad more than the film doctors ordered. (No, I don’t have a film doctor, because they don’t exist… I think). Where was I…

So yeah, Sidney’s dad deserves a slap ’cause he left her vulnerable daughter alone around the anniversary of her mother’s death. But it’s not just him: her friends all seem to take the Mickey Mouse out of her too. As does the whole school. I mean, some pranksters wore masks, and in my BEARbook, that is a poisonous berry you should not indulge in (Note-to-self: visit the berry bush around the corner from my cave after I’ve finished this entry).  How can you human peoples be so cowardly and hurtful to each other? Please, please, just love one another, okay? We are only on this planet for a short timespan, so could we all just get along and enjoy the party of life? Party… hahahhaar… Aha! They invite Sidney to a house party don’t they? This moment was the facepalm of the film for me.

Who invites someone to a party around that time in someone’s life, especially a friend? It makes me think that this girl Sidney must have done something rotten to all those she loved before I started watching, and I have no idea what she did because she seems like such a lovely girl, and… I’ve forgotten it’s a movie again, haven’t it?

Even though Scream is most definitely a cheese-a-thon, BEAR had a great experience watching this human film. I loved it… but I hear that there is not just one Scream, but several more. NO! Stop it! You don’t throw more cheese on cheese. When I’ve eaten a belly full of berries, I don’t immediately go, “Damn, I must eat more, more, more, before Joseph TheBerryBandit comes and steals my berries. You don’t need to worry about other people copying Scream if that’s what you’re worried about film maker humans: the original is always the best in my book. Unless, it’s about another issue unrelated to that, like money

The amount of references to previous horror films in this, you would have thought this was Quentin Tarantino’s wet dream. And I liked it! Not the inducement of a director’s subconscious ejaculation, but the way the characters in this highlighted the flaws in horror films, and using it to justify things that happen in the film. For example, Billy says to Sidney, “Corn syrup: the same stuff they use for pig’s blood in Carrie,” when she thought that he was stabbed to death in the bedroom.

Does this BEAR like Scream? Hell yesh! This film works for BEAR because it is so confident in its own cheese; and because it this, it is definitely BEAR’s cup of tea. It’s definitely not BEAR’s favourite film – nowhere near (BEAR’s fav film is ****), but it is sure a fun, lighthearted, slasher movie, with sentiments-to-the-horror-genre-that-spawned-it turned up to 11. So…………

Overall, I give Scream:

I’ll leave you with the death scenes:

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