Luther (S1 Ep2) – Bear TV Review

Rambling Hi!!!

In the second episode of Luther we see Alice (the innocent-until-proven-guilty-but-obviously-the-killer-or-her-parents—–and-dog) become more and more like Rose from Two and a Half Men, back in the days where Charlie Sheen was the uncompromising womaniser on screen. But unlike Rose, Alice is more of a threat – afterall, you never saw Rose break into the house of your estranged wife’s house like Alice does. Alice is the real deal. Rose is a wannabe. This is relevant I know, but the rest of this review is worth reading, so I’m sorry for this paragraph, but not sorry enough to delete it. Hater’s gonna hate regardless.

Anyways, enough of the subplot. Here’s the real meat for you to sink your teeth into (unless you’re vegetarian or vegan, then I wholeheartedly apologise from my caravore heart. Follow, like, comment y’all! X)

The Nitty Gritty

So we begin with a guy slumped by the side wall of an underpass, the train on the track above whizzing past as a police car comes by to expect what looks like either a homeless guy, a drunk, or both. It turns out it was none of these things I’ve just mentioned, but someone armed with a gun whom kills them both with expert precision. Who is this?

After seeing some CCTV footage back at the station of a guy near that very location and time of the shooting, from only the back of this person’s body can Luther discriminate what kind of background this murderer has, to some degree anyway. Luther declares that this man use to be in the army, and he can tell by the way he walks, and having been around many people such as this in his past.

His boss gives him a file of someone who fits the guy’s profile of killing only cops and the descriptions they have of him. The file is of a person whom cannot of done this as he is still inside behind bars for killing a previous copper, and looks too old to fit the bill. So instead Luther thinks – once shown the next file – that it could be this guy’s son, who also served in the forces but was recently released due to mental illness. To Luther, this is the killer, and you know something – he’s right again.

The next scene of crime regarding this case takes place at point blank range. He deliberately walks up to a passing female police woman and shoots her in the abdomen, with the intention of not killing her but leaving her as bait to attract more police to this location. It worked, and he starts sniping them all from the rooftops like he was playing a video game. But what kind of sick twisted mind wants to kill policemen, and what is his motivations? That’s what Luther wants to know. And the answer comes in the form of an online video.

The killer uploads a video to the web (it’s gotten a fair amount of hits already, so say one copper) and states the demands he wants in order to stop him killing anymore innocent police men and women. He wants for his father to be let out from prison as he doesn’t deserve to be in there, and did this country a great service. Luther now understands who is really behind these killings, and it isn’t the one on the screen.

The commander of the killings is the one locked away in prision: the father. He has a strangehold on his mentally unstable son and apparently use to beat him when he was younger, so much so that he made his son wet the bed constantly. The son wants to please his father and would do anything for him – joining the army, and even kill for his release. So Luther decides to pay him a little visit.

The veteran meets up with Luther in an empty prison hall and he tries to bargain with the detective that he will tell his son to stop killing if he is allowed to have his prison sentence reduced 5 years, as he believes what he did was manslaughter not murder. Luther laughs away his negotiations, telling him that this isn’t going to happen. Meanwhile, whilst they talk, this guy’s cell is being searched inside-out for clues in how he is able to communicate with his son in the outside world. It turns out that he had a mobile phone in there all along, but little do they know that this commander behind bars is still one step ahead of them. He knew that they would find the phone, and planted it there so that more policemen will be led to a building with a bomb inside. The bomb being detonated by a mobile phone call.

Luther goes back to the veteran and tries to blackmail him into giving him what he wants. And what does no prisoner want other prisoners around them to think they are? That’s right – a nonce. He slaps a brown envelope on the table between them, and the guy’s face twists in disgust at the picture he sees. He tells Luther that no-one will believe him, but Luther thinks they will as the story of how he controls his son to commit murders on behalf of himself says a lot about what their real relationship could really be like between them. The prisoner doesn’t give Luther an answer, or at least we do not see it. But it doesn’t take long for us to know what the outcome of that talk was.

In her office, the boss sees Luther on the BBC news, talking to a reporter about the gunman who is killing policemen. Everything he says is a lie, and is his way of painting himself as a target. Because he’s so smart, he also knows that the killer has been listening in to all of their police conversations, and so tells his boss over the walkie talkie where he is heading. This is a message for the killer, and he bites it hook, line, and sinker.

Outside a row of upper flats, we get the head-to-head of Luther and the gunman. Using his psychological wit to try and disarm the mentally unstable man doesn’t work and only winds him up enough to hit him in the face a few times with the butt of his gun. He still tries to use his father against him, telling him that he doesn’t have to live in his shadow anymore and that it’s him the police are after, not him, but the ex-soldier doesn’t buy it. Instead, he takes all the bullets out of his gun chamber bar one, and plays russian roulette with him. After the fifth one (empty load), Luther knows that there isn’t much time to act before the man finishes himself off, to prove he is nothing like his own father. Luther wrestles him to the ground, punching him in the face and disarms him. Job done! Of course his boss isn’t happy about him disobeying orders, but that’s what happens when you’ve got a maverick like Luther on your team. In the end, you’ve got to roll with it, like Oasis said.

So where will the next episode find us? If I was to guess I’d say the guy whom Luther decided to let fall from a great height at the beginning of episode one will come back into it, and join forces with Alice. This has already been suggested in this episode as we saw Alice playing psychological games with Luther from the guy’s bedside, telling us that he is indeed still alive. Ooo0o0o0o0o I can’t wait! Can you?

See you in a bit. Xxx

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Fargo – Season 1, Episode 7 (Review)

When you went to school, do you remember how you would always take along with you your backpack? Well, I did anyway. And when you had your backpack, wouldn’t you of checked what was inside of it before going to school, just to make sure you have everything for the day ahead? Well, it turns out Lester’s brother’s son doesn’t do that. And as a result, a gun slides out of his bag and onto the floor of his classroom. What a doughnut!

Because of this youngster’s lack of academic organisation, the police get involved in the matter. They get a search warrant to turn Lester’s brother’s house upside down, leaving the wife in all sorts of bother. He gets a phone call from his missus to get his sorry ass back outta work, and to come home. He panics – they’ll find my gun locker in the basement, and the illegal one too. And as he arrives, that is just what they are doing. And then the twist: a pair of knickers, a bloody hammer, and a saucy photo of Lester’s wife. His own wife flips out, slaps him in emotional outrage, but he just stands there, looking stunned. How could that of got there? Have I been set up? Answer: yes you have matey.

He must have an inkling whom has done the dirty on him. LESTER!!! It’s got to be – recently, he disowned him to his face, whilst he sat on his hospital bed; and with the quagmire Lester is in, it made sense to a degree to sabotage his unloving bro. I’m not justifying Lester’s actions – I’m just saying he’s gotta do what he’s gotta do, and jail ain’t the place for a skinny pretty boy like him. (Saying that, neither is it suitable for his brother. Oh well…)

The Sheriff brings Lester into the police station to ask him a few questions about his brother and his dead wife; primarily: were they having an affair? Lester, sincere as Mother Teresa, tells that this is exactly what happened. He puts on the brave, tormented face of a man exposing a deep family secret, and the Sheriff eat it up like cake on sale at a closing down cake shop. Nom nom nom…


Lester, at the police station, practising for his late night poker next July

He leaves the station, passing by his brother who is locked behind bars. When he hears him yell out his name, Lester smirks to himself, and exits. He’s bad to the bone, I tells ya.


He ain’t heavy – he’s in prison

Now that Lester thinks he’s in the clear, he finally rings for the cleaning service to come and clear the murder mess. FINALLY!! – that shit had been bugging me from the very beginning. I wondered: are they allowed to leave a crime scene like this? Why haven’t the police dealt with it on behalf of Lester, whom they’d all of thought was in a ‘vulnerable’ state of mind? And why ain’t the floor covered in flies and maggots? (I concluded that this is probably ’cause it’s so cold up in that town, that no flies wanna breed in such cold temperatures. Either that, or I’m talking outta my derriere and have totally forgotten that this is indeed a TV show.) And when Lester gets through to them on the phone, they hang up at the mere mention of the word ‘blood’. Hilarious! The police gave him that number and they chickened out. What a joke!

So what about Molly and Lorne – I’ve talked about Lester so much that I’d completely neglected the other two main characters. Well, I guess that’s because Lester’s part of the story here contains the bulk of the story, but nevertheless, I must do a quick shout out to those two. I’ll start with good-golly-miss Molly…

After perforating Molly’s spleen with an unintended bullet, the city officer, Gus Grimly, comes to her hospital bedside with a bundle of flowers. He apologies immensely, and tells her that he’s going to lose his badge because of this blunder. She tells him to stop talking nonsense, and that he’s not going to get fired. He leaves the room, passing by her father, whom seems less than impressed by him (well, I thought so).

Molly, with her IV drip and stand, then goes into the hospital room where Mr Wretch – the deaf guy – is. She tells him that his partner, Mr Numbers is dead. He’s devastated. Molly then hands him a small white board so he can communicate with her. I had to laugh because she’d been speaking to him all that time before then, and then asks him if he can lip read. Of course he can, you utter numpty. Christ Sake!  Anywho, where was I… so Molly mentions the name Lorne Malvo, and Mr Wretch knows exactly what she’s talking about. Molly thinks she’s onto something here, and she’s right to think so.

Because flowers are always enough after shooting someone in the spleen

Molly, with her IV drip, then goes into the hospital room where Mr Wretch – the deaf guy – is. She tells him that his partner, Mr Numbers is dead. He’s devastated. Molly then hands him a small white board so he can communicate with her. I had to laugh because she’d been speaking to him all that time before then, and then asks him if he can lip read. Of course he can, you utter numpty. Christ Sake!  Anywho, where was I… so Molly mentions the name Lorne Malvo, and Mr Wretch knows exactly what he’s talking about. Molly thinks he’s onto something here. And he’s right to think so (for once in his trigger happy life).

Meanwhile, in a place by the name Fargo, Lorne strolls past the police with a fat off gun in his hands, and kills all the people in the building they were watching. We don’t see any of the shooting as the camera stays on the outside of the building, but follows him up floor by floor. At the top floor, a guy comes flying out of the window, and onto the pavement. The police finally realise, and backup is called. And as they’re all waiting outside for the killer to come out, Lorne, from the side, walks away from the scene, and down the street.

That’s about all folks! The only other thing that springs to mind is Lester going to Hess’s window’s house and shafting silly (literally and metaphorically, as he is also lying to her). But I guess, seeing as Hess shafted him all those years in the playground – by that, I mean he bullied him – and Lester is in the clear, it seems like he just doesn’t care anymore. She’s still going to struggle to get her insurance though – Hess didn’t finish paying the premiums on his life insurance, so… nil dollars exactly will be the payout. Lester doesn’t care either way, hence the lying to her. In fact, Lester has become an almost Lorne prodigy character in the making. He may not have killed as many people, but he’s definitely got the warped mindset now. I guess that’s what happens when you expose yourself to too many professional killers – it rubs off on you.


If you’re thinking about what Lester’s looking at, it’s the family portrait he just made fall off the wall with the power of his… enthusiasm

Fargo – Season 1, Episode 3 (Review)

I’ll admit, it took me and minute or two to catch on with what was happening at the start of season 3: a chunky-clunky guy getting dragged out of his office cubicle, past his work colleagues, and into the car park where he is stripped bare, par the underwear (he had beautiful underwear!) and thrown into the back of a car. Oh yeah, I should have mentioned who’s doing the dragging here (and by the poor sod’s tie as well): it’s our good friend, Mr nice guy himself, Lorne, the hitman. After this all happens, we come to the scene at the start of episode one, and I’m thinking, “Ohhhhhh, I get it now – very clever.” Yes people – we are being shown what happened before Lorne and Lester met by chance at the hospital, and before all hell broke loose in this quiet, sleepy, snowy, humdrum town in Minnesota.

But why the devil do they shown me what took place before the first episode began? Why confuse and befuddle little old me to almost lose the plot (emphasis on the word ALMOST!!!)?? Well, it becomes clear later why this is shown at the start of the episode when Deputy Molly goes to visit Lester at his work (yes, even his workmates were surprised he’d returned only days after his dear, dear wife got killed). Whilst Molly’s there, pretending to want some insurance, she “accidentally” nudges off her case file onto the floor. Lester, being in the tricky situation he’s in right now, offers to help pick up the file. The papers inside the file can be seen by him, with the top photo showing Lorne, dragging the chubby office worker out of the building by his own tie. (Hilarious if you ask me how straight-faced o’ Billy Bobby does this scene.) Of course, Deputy Molly has just set Lester up to see how he reacts when he sees the photo of Lorne, as Molly has a hunch the two of them know each other somehow. Sheriff is peeved by Molly’s downright dirty tactics, and tells her again to leave Lester, the widower alone as he has suffered enough. But not enough of him to go on a job visit to a client’s house.

Lester goes to see Hess’s widow, Gina, whom is eager to get her late husband’s money by any means possible. She proves this by asking him “What’s a girl gotta do” and then positioning her crotch right up in his face, with her leg up over his shoulder on the chair. This results in one of her dim-witted sons seeing this through the window, and then accidentally firing an arrow into his brother’s ass with his crossbow.

Other things that happen in this episode: Lorne blackmailing Stavros for more money (even though he’s working for him to find the blackmailer), switching his pills for amphetamines, and sliting the throat his rockwelller, King. And he even manages to get Stavros to let him live at the property, so that he can catch the blackmailer when he turns up again (har har). And Lester is being hassled by the mute guy and his interpretor at his work – luckily Molly came at the door just in time.

So, that’s what happened in this episode. I’m still amazed Lester is allowed back in his house when the crime scene hasn’t been cleaned up, and that the Sheriff is willing to turn a blind eye to Lester going back to work so early. No doubt his is a highly entertaining show, but maybe they should retitle it, Farcego, instead of Fargo. I’m just saying…

Roll on episode 4!

Oh Molly, you aren’t just about to knock over that file on your right-hand side, are you?


Lester, in another sticky situation.

Fargo – Season 1, Episode 2 (Review)

Perhaps there wasn’t as much gore in this episode as in the first one, but it is still intriguing – mainly how on earth Lester is planning on getting Molly the deputy off his back. She’s on to him like a fly on shit, and even though Lester (and even the Sheriff) say to leave her alone, and that she’s harassing him, she is persistent with her questions. Each time Molly meets Lester, he makes some excuse, and initially pretends that he still has double vision. Sheriff, being Lester’s mate, buys this when he is told this, and takes cue to leave the “bereaved” Lester. Trouble is, Lester knows that he did a bad thing.

That Lorne is a creepy character, ain’t he? The way he intimidates people in his one-on-one interactions makes me feel slightly apprehensive, and I’m sat in the safety of my own living room! I’d like to compare him to a bully cat: he stares them out and calls their bluff, throwing in an element of “I’ll-destroy-you-if-you-don’t-get-outta-my-way” in for measure. He did this to the guy in the postal room, and all he was doing was his job. He’s unintentionally hilarious, but perhaps he does have some awareness of his straight-guy comedic act, because when he walks out of that place with his parcel, he tells the cleaner mopping the floor, “You missed a spot.” Oh, and in the parcel we have a book called American Phoenix and a wallet containing his new identity as a Minister.

One criticism: why is Lester allowed back in his house when the crime scene hasn’t been cleared up? There’s puddles of blood and splatterings on the wall – both on the ground floor and in the basement – where the cop and his wife were killed. Or maybe that’s what actually happened, seeing as in both episodes it starts off by telling the viewer that this is based on a true story. (NOTE: I was skeptically of this, so just looked it up… on Wikipedia of all things. Yep: it’s a lie. Just like the movie lied to me; and now I’m a tad depressed as the illusion of that film being based on a real event has just been completely and totally obliterated).

And the episode ended with some guys (below) cutting a hole through the icy ground, and dumping a guy (still conscious) into the freezing water beneath. But if I’m being honest, these characters don’t interest me that much – I’m more interested in the relationship entanglement between Lester, Molly and Lorne. If I’m pushing it, I could say that I like how the ginger haired guy is mute and has to use sign language, and how the guy in the middle (again, see below) has to be his interpretor for people… but that’s it. Oh, and is the guy in the middle one time in Friends? (don’t pretend you didn’t watch that shiz)

…By the way, stay tuned for my review of episode 3, coming to your screen tomorrow… or the next day… or whenever I feel like watching it (I can’t predict the future, or the efforts to not being lazy enough to turn on the TV. Yes, I can be that lazzzzy).

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