Panic Room – Bear Film review

Don’t panic! Said Jones from Dad’s Army, so at 10 pm at night I braced myself behind my cushion, and started watching Panic Room. It’s a habit of mine to watch movies late at night – I don’t know why but I just love watching flicks in the dark. I guess it just adds to the atmosphere of the whole 90+ minute journey. But enough about my dirty night time habits – what did I think about the movie?

I’ll tell ya…

We Begin With…

The film opens with Meg, the mother, screwing her ex husband – financially speaking (c’mon peeps, get your head out of the gutters and look up to the stars, as dear William Blake might have eluded to). She does this by buying the biggest house on the market, it would seem. The thing that seals the deal for her is The Safe Room, AKA The Panic Room. This room is impenetrable, meaning if you lock yourself inside it, no-one on the outside can get in. This is mighty handy considering what happens later on in the film (yes, hold your horses – I’ll be telling ya soon).

And so herself and her daughter leave in this house that includes early scene product placement such as Coke Cola, Evian (God, how they love that shit!), and Nokia (they old school mobile gives away the era this film comes from perfectly. Other products are available. Oh! The mother is played by Jodie Foster, and the daughter would you believe it, is played by a young Kristen of Twilight fame (RANT: read the book – hated it. I’ve read On The Road as well, which apparently she stars in, and I hated that book too… and I read it twice to make sure. I plan on not watching either because of this. RANT OVER!). Throughout the majority of the film, I thought that she was a boy. How I laughed when I realised she wasn’t.

$3 million is actually $22 million

Various Methods

What they did

Various methods were used to try and coax the mother-daughter burden out from the Panic Room. After one of the guys told the other two how the room was virtually indestructible, they brought in a Propane canister and attached a long hose pipe to it. This would leak gas into their space by  feeding the hose through the air vent to them. The mother tried to block the gas entering their space by using duct tape to seal the air vents, but when that didn’t work the mother found a BBQ light and set that mutha alight. BOOM! The canister went… you know… BOOM!

After communicating with them via the home security cameras, using sign boards as they weren’t aware that the intercom was a two-way device, it became apparent the them that the mother and daughter weren’t going to risk coming out even though they said they weren’t going to hurt them. As the viewer of this film would have known by now, the burguarers are only interested in what’s in the hidden safe in the Panic Room, and that my internet friend, is 3 million dollars. That’s what Colin Farrell’s character tells them, but eventually we find out that he was selling them a load of old tosh, and because of that, he got a bullet through the head by Raul, the guy who wore a ski mask for 99% of the movie. I guess some people are just camera shy.

They tried smashing the ceiling directly underneath the Panic Room. Needless to say that was a stupid idea.

 

What she did

Rips wiring out of wall cavity to connect disconnected phone to police. The police, being a bitch, put her on hold, and so she hung up and tried ringing her ex husband. Dang! That’s gotta sting. The three guys rush downstairs into the basement, and smash a sledgehammer into the electric mains, terminateing that call prematurely (probably the same reason she left her husband. Just speculating as I thought he looked quite old for her).
Flashlight through pipe hole in wall. For some reason, after gaining the attention of the woman in the apartment across from them, they decide to then hault the SOS signals and shout for help through the hole. Damn! All that propane made then go dog IQ and shit. Beggars belief. And of course, the chunky lady across from them can’t hear them, so loses interest and closes the curtains. To be honest, I’m surprised the flashlight could reach that far as it was quite some distance it would have to travel to connect with the woman’s retinas.
They also tried shouting at a wall at one point, thinking their next door neighbours could hear them. WRONG!

A lot more happens later in this film which I won’t want to spoil for you, so I’ll just leave it to you to get around to it when you can, if you wanna that is…

I’d watch it in a few years time. Worth another ganders for sure.

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